Hermione Granger's Baby Blues
by Naiya Kokoro
Summary: Hermione, single and wanting a baby, decides to get one using a combination of Muggle and Magical artificial insemination. The babies father is a Muggleborn wizard from mainland Europe, or so she thinks...


"And last but not least, this one's from Hermione!" Ginny exclaimed as someone handed her a large box covered in pastel wrapping paper and a dozen spirally-curled ribbons. She tore the paper open to 'ooh' and 'ahh' over a giant pink stuffed animal. It was a bear wearing a white tuxedo vest and bow tie.

"A teddy bear!" Ginny gushed. "Thanks Hermione!"

Hermione raised her mimosa in acknowledgement of Ginny's thanks. "I put a spell on it so that it'll change colors based on the baby's mood. And, once she's old enough to recognize different animals, it'll transfigure itself into whatever she wants."

Ginny rubbed her protruding stomach. "Wow, really? Lily will love that, that's so thoughtful! Thanks Hermione, this has to be the best gift I've gotten all day!"

Some of the guests shot Hermione admiring glances, in awe of her magical talent and the foresight she'd had when thinking of her gift. Most of them shot her looks of distaste. No one was thrilled at having their gift openly declared inferior to The Great Hermione Granger's. Especially not Lavender, Ron's fiancée. Her glare was the strongest of all. Hermione excused herself to the kitchen to escape the discomfort that she was starting to feel.

There was a half-open bottle of champagne on the table. Hermione drained the rest of her mimosa and filled her glass to the brim with champagne, not bothering with the orange juice that time. She hadn't even wanted to go to the baby shower, but Harry had begged and pleaded and called in every favor she owed him and made her feel guilty about "not celebrating the birth of his first daughter" until she'd caved and given in, saying she'd attend. The bear had actually been a last-minute gift, purchased at a Muggle toy shop because babies were one thing that Hermione Granger knew nothing about. She'd added the spells as an afterthought five minutes before heading over to the baby shower. It was supposed to look like she'd given enough thought to her gift to make sure Ginny would like it. Apparently she'd done too good of a job. Ginny liked it way too much and now every other woman at the shower was envious of her "magical gift-giving skills." She snorted and took a huge swig from her glass. Bubbles leapt from the too-full glass into her nose, making her cough and sputter and spit her mouthful of champagne onto the table. _Lovely,_ she thought. _Just lovely._ She vanished the spittle and took another gulp of champagne to steel her nerves. This time, she managed to get the liquor down without a problem.

"Hermione?"

Molly Weasley entered the kitchen, carrying a tray of picked-at fruits and finger sandwiches. "What are you doing in here, dear?"

Hermione smiled at Mrs. Weasley, holding up her champagne flute. "Some of the women in there were making me feel uncomfortable so I came in here for a breather and a refill. If I'm in your way, I can go back-"

"Nonsense!" Mrs. Weasley pushed Hermione down into the nearest chair. "You can keep me company while I prepare the desserts."

Hermione felt that she wasn't much company, as Molly had the dessert trays ready with just a few flicks of her wand. She sent one floating into the living room, where the shower was being held, and then joined Hermione at the kitchen table.

"They're getting ready to start another game, dear," Molly said. "You should go back in and rejoin the party."

Hermione shook her head. "No, I think I'll stay here for a little while longer."

Molly grabbed Hermione's hand. "What's wrong, dear? Is it Lavender?"

Hermione sighed. "Sort of," she admitted. "I don't understand why she's still so hostile to me sometimes. Ron and I were never officially a couple. We kissed a few times after the war ended, but we both knew almost right away that we were better off as being friends. I've tried to become friendly with her, but nothing I try ever works. I even invited her out to that new spa that opened in Hogsmeade six months ago, the one with the super long waiting list? I heard she'd been trying to get a reservation, and they sent me two passes. Ginny suggested that I take Lavender instead of her, so I asked and she shot me down."

She shook her head, taking a smaller sip of her drink this time. She wasn't about to go around having Molly Weasley thinking she had a drinking problem. "And you know what? I've been twice since then, and she's still trying to get her name down on the list."

Molly thought of an idea, but hesitated to bring it up because she wasn't sure that Hermione'd receive it well. But she was very aware of the tension between Hermione and her daughter-in-law. Her youngest son floo-called her regularly to complain about not being able to see one of his best friends because of his wife's jealousy. She was sure that any solution was worth pursuing, so she went ahead and said "Perhaps, Hermione dear, Lavender's fears about Ronnie and yourself would be… soothed… if you were to pursue a relationship with someone. A co-worker, perhaps?"

Hermione looked at Molly, then at her glass, back at Molly, and then back at the glass. She set it on the table, because she'd clearly had too much to drink and misheard Molly's suggestion. "A relationship? Molly, I can't date. At least not right now. I'm way too busy with work, and-"

"And you're Hermione Granger, your job can wait. You know they'd give you all the time off that you wanted. St. Mungo's isn't going anywhere, there's always going to need Healers. With your reputation, you could even start your own practice at home, and then look after the kids in between patients."

_Kids?_ "Molly, if I'm not ready for a relationship, I'm certainly not ready to have children yet. I'm only 27, after all. I've got plenty of time."

Molly chuckled. "Hermione, in the magical world, women are usually at least on their second or third child by your age. You're going to fall way behind all of your friends. And what about Harry and Ron, hmm? Their kids will grow up together, being friends, but if you don't start looking for a husband soon, your kids will grow up all alone. There won't be any Potters or Weasleys left for them to play with, because they'll all be away at Hogwarts. And they won't even have any biological cousins either, at least not on your side."

Hermione groaned. She should have just gone back to the party when Molly first brought it up, but now all she wanted to do was go home. "Thanks for the advice, Molly. I'll think about what you said, but I'm not feeling well right now. I think I'm going to go home now. Give my regrets to Ginny for leaving early, please."

Draining the last of her champagne, Hermione went into the hallway and snuck past the party to use the Floo in the next room. She arrived home to find Harry finishing the last of her chocolate ice cream while watching sports highlights.

"You're back early," Harry commented as Hermione stepped through the floo. He, Ron, and all of the other male Weasley relatives had not been invited to the party, so he'd spent the day on Hermione's couch, watching tv and babysitting Crookshanks. The cat in question was curled up on Hermione's black couch, a place where he and his orange fur were most decidedly **not** allowed to be, pawing at a toy that Harry had brought for him.

"I wasn't feeling very celebratory to begin with," Hermione explained. "Ginny loved my gift, which of course made Lavender hate me even more. Then your mother-in-law got to me with the '_Hermione you're not getting any older_' speech so I had to get out of there."

Harry gave her a sympathetic smile. He was the only one of Hermione's friends who understood her lack of urgency when it came to settling down. He also was in no real position to defend her to others, having been the first of their group to actually get married and conceive. He was the model child in Mrs. Weasley's eyes, and Hermione was constantly being bombarded with comparisons between Harry and herself, always being made aware of the fact that Harry had two children, Ron had three, and she had none.

"Hermione, maybe it _is_ time you started seeing someone-no, wait, hear me out, please. I don't think you should rush out and get married or anything crazy like that, but I do think, and Ginny agrees with me, that you need to at least go on a few dates here and there. You haven't gone out with a guy in five years. Don't you ever get lonely sometimes?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I don't, Harry Potter." She put her hands on her hips and gave him her most defiant stare, but this was Harry Potter, the boy who killed Lord Voldemort, and he wasn't backing down.

"Not even physically?"

She gasped. "Harry James Potter! My sex life is none of your business! Now go, out!" She grabbed his arm and yanked him off of her sofa, shoving him into the Floo as she slapped his arms for having dared to insinuate that she needed to get some. She tossed some powder in behind him and once he was gone, she took his spot on the sofa and gathered Crookshanks into her arms.

"Oh, Crooks," she sighed. "Why won't they just let me do this on my own time?"

"_Meow."_

"You don't know, huh? Me either."


End file.
